Before my relationship with Jesus became personal, I didn’t take life very seriously. I didn’t realize how much it mattered, or how much of an impact I could make. I just tried to go through life unnoticed—keeping my head down and trying to blend in. I thought I had a relationship with Jesus, but not enough to truly surrender my addictions or follow Him completely. I was deep into alcohol, nicotine, weed, and pills—and I made excuses for all of it. I blamed my parents, my job working night shifts at a prison, and abusive relationships. I told myself God understood, but what I didn’t realize was that I was keeping myself trapped instead of letting Him heal me. 

I came to have real faith in Jesus when life hit a breaking point. I was so lost in addiction and hurt that I didn’t even want to live anymore. I begged God to take away my desire to drink, but I wasn’t ready to surrender or actually go get help. Still, He kept pressing on my heart—it was either let the alcohol consume me, or give it to Him. 

After trying to quit on my own, I ended up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning and was later sent to Marshall Pickens. It wasn’t a place that talked about God—just medicine and recovery—but that’s where I found Him again. For the first time in a long time, I opened my Bible, and God met me right there, in that broken place. When I got out, I decided I wanted to live sober. I went to my first AA meeting, and it changed my life. I realized I wasn’t alone—that other people were fighting the same battles—and that God was giving me the strength and community I needed to keep going. 

Since truly following Jesus, life has been amazing… but definitely a roller coaster. I’ve learned my worth, and I’ve learned the difference between transactional love and unconditional love. Jesus has helped me let go of anger, resentment, and the need to control everything. Even when things don’t go my way, I remember Jeremiah 29:11, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” 

Right now, in this season of my life, God is teaching me to trust Him wholeheartedly—even when I struggle with doubt. He’s teaching me patience—to stop trying to rush my story—because His timing is perfect, not mine. And He’s teaching me to find peace in the unknown. I don’t have to see the whole plan to know that He’s working everything for my good. And that’s what keeps me going—trusting that my story, no matter how messy, is still being written by the hands of a loving God.